Broken Reflections
by HunnybadgerV
Summary: Before Shepard turns the Normandy over to the Alliance, she wants to do something special for the man who has stood beside her through all the trials she has faced. But things don't always go as planned. A/N: Written by request for tbsnihon who had a hankering for Shoker fluff.


**Summary:** Before Shepard turns the _Normandy _over to the Alliance, she wants to do something special for the man who has stood beside her through all the trials she has faced. But plans don't always go as planned.

**A/N:** Written by request for tbsnihon who had a hankering for Shoker fluff.

_Disclaimer:_ Mass Effect belongs to Bioware, I'm only playing with their universe. I do not own the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. I do it for the love of the game, the world, and the characters; and because they stuck with me long after I turned the game off (and back on, and off, ad infinitum).

* * *

**Broken Reflections**

**-1-**

Leah was 100% certain Joker had already seen the dress, either on the _Normandy's_ security feeds or from Kasumi's armor cam when the two women were on Bekenstein. But it was the only dress Shepard had and she wanted to make an impression on him. He was still angry at her for agreeing to surrender to the Alliance. Leah also knew he would be even more upset if and when she revealed the deal she had cut for him and some of the other crew of the former Cerberus vessel.

Between Miranda and Kasumi, Shepard knew she would wind up looking leaps and bounds more feminine than if she had attempted her hair and makeup herself. Typically she just tied her long blonde hair up in a tight regulation bun-no frills, all function. And the closest she ever got to makeup was lip balm-her favorite was a raspberry-rose scented one that reminded her of her mother's garden.

"So? What so you think?" Kasumi crooned, handing the former commander the hand mirror from Miranda's case.

Leah stared at the reflection for a long time. The only things she recognized were the deep emerald eyes and the scar over her right eye that Thane had given her when they were sparring in the cargo bay just after he joined the crew.

Calmly, Shepard set the mirror down, stood, and walked into the bathroom a few feet behind her. The difference in what she saw there and who she thought she was were stark. _What are you doing, Shepard?_ she asked the veritable stranger staring back at her in the larger mirror. It was all foreign, every stroke, every curl, every stitch. It felt like the wrong uniform.

She slumped to a puddle on the floor and rested her head on her knees. The chime of her omnitool caught her off guard. It was Jeff. _Of course, it was Jeff_. He seemed to have a sixth sense when it came to her and her moods.

"You know they won't hold our table. So Miranda and Kasumi are going to have to release you from their torture chamber soon," he said with a light laugh.

"I know."

He heard it in her tone, hell, she had heart it-the hint of struggle. She knew it was stupid. Knew that the uncertainty she felt was wholly unfounded. But Shepard wasn't comfortable or confident as a woman in most literal sense of the word. Give her a pistol and tell her to take down a Collector Homeworld-not a problem. Walk tall in heels and own a painted on face-there she faltered.

"Talk to me, Shepard," Joker coaxed, just like he would if this was a mission.

She shook her head, despite the call being audio only. "It's nothing. I'll be fine. And on time," she added, tapping her datacuff to close the call before she heard him call her name to stop her.

**-2-**

When Joker entered the loft less than two minutes later, both Miranda and Kasumi tried not to look concerned. The thief had been at the bathroom door when he walked in.

"She locked herself in there," Miranda disclosed with a wave at the door.

"What did you do?"

"Her hair and makeup," the former Cerberus operative bit back at the accusation in the question.

The thief slipped between them. "She looked in the mirror, then got all quiet. Next thing we know, she locks herself in the bathroom."

"Hey, EDI!" Joker called. "Override the locks, please."

"The commander ordered…" the electronic voice began.

"EDI, just do it," Miranda added."

Nothing happened for what felt like several minutes, but was, in reality, far less. Moreau weighed his options.

"Is Tali still on board?" he asked, rubbing at his forehead and wishing he had his cap. He had dug up his blues since they were going back to the Alliance it was not a total stretch and he wanted to do something special for her. Give her a real night out, a real date like adults. And his blues were the closest thing he had to a suit.

Kasumi shrugged and Miranda shook her head. Then the AI chimed in. "Yes, Mr. Moreau. She is in Engineering."

"Fine. Page her up here then. She can hack the damn door since you refuse to help."

With that very real possibility looming, the AI relented. The pilot didn't miss a beat, he slipped through the door and let it close behind him. Shepard did not even look up.

"What did you threaten her with?" Shepard muttered, inquiring about why EDI disobeyed her.

"Tali is still on board," he advised as he sat down next to her, facing her. At first, he just let his arms cradle his knees as he observed her huddled up there. He hadn't seen her like this in months, and he had thought she had come to terms with the Lazarus Project and everything that had happened.

"What happened, Leah?" He really wanted to know what the stressor had been, almost certain that Miranda had done or said something.

When she looked up at him, he smiled. She looked stunning. The style Miranda crafted highlighted the natural wave of Shepard's earthy blonde locks and Kasumi had done something that made her eyes pop. He would not have imagined it possible, but they were even more hypnotic. The precisely-tinted red lips were incredibly tempting.

"I don't know," she admitted blinking at him for a moment. Then she leaned her head back against the wall and stared at the ceiling. "I looked in the mirror Kasumi handed me and I didn't know who was staring back. It's so stupid. It's just…"

Jeff ran his hand through his short hair as her voice trailed off. "I feel naked without my cap," he admitted. He knew it was a frivolous thing to say, but it made Leah look at him.

She smiled and nodded her agreement. "You look naked too," she added with a sweet little giggle that made him smile.

"You look ravishing."

She blushed.

"And very different."

"Better?" she asked cautiously.

Jeff leaned forward and touched her cheek. "I always think you look amazing. This isn't any better or worse than when you walk back onto this ship singed and bloodied. It's just different."

They stared at one another for a long time.

"We don't have to do this," he offered.

Shepard slid toward him, setting her hand on his chest. "But I wanted tonight to be special."

"So do I. And you know what? As long as I spend it with you, it's all the special I need."

Her fingertips played at the divot at the base of his throat. Suddenly things felt heavy again. "I brokered a deal," she murmured. "You and the others will be immune."

Jeff closed his eyes at the revelation and took a deep breath.

"And I'm going to be on lockdown. No visitors. No outside communication. Solitary confinement."

He shook his head. He really could not be surprised, he told himself. She took care of her people. Hell, they all only made it back through the relay because Leah Shepard did two things better than anyone: she got the job done and she protected her crew.

"So tonight was your way of apologizing for making this decision without a word?" Joker asked finally, eyes still closed.

"It wasn't just about you and me," she replied, touching his neck.

"The hell it wasn't," Joker retorted, struggling for a moment to get back to his feet. "Christ, Leah! What were you thinking?"

"That they were charging you with treason," she blurted out.

He steadied himself and stared at her.

"I have a little leeway, with the whole KIA thing and the evidence that I was mostly dead. You and the others-you guys worked for Cerberus willingly," she explained calmly with a shrug. "They already had the indictments drawn up."

"I don't need you to protect me. None of us do. We're all adults-except for Grunt, maybe. But we all knew what we were signing on for."

Shepard rose to her feet quickly and he got a glimpse of the whole picture. "These people are my friends, and you … I love you, Jeff. And if there's something I can do to keep any of you safe, especially you, then I'm going to do it."

His eyes searched hers for a long time, the he slipped his hand behind her neck and kissed her. Pressing his forehead to hers, he said, "I know. It's one of the things I adore about you."

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry."

"I'll get over it. I waited two years to get you back once. I can man-up and handle a few more months."

Her smile teased his lips as she kissed him lightly.

"So, what do you want to do?" Moreau asked, still holding her tightly. "We can probably still get our table, or we can curl up in bed with popcorn, chocolate, and an action movie. Your call."

Leah bit her bottom lip and blinked up at him through long lashes. "Would you be disappointed if I went for Door #2?" she asked carefully.

"Not in the least," he replied with a mischievous smirk. "It means I get you all to myself."


End file.
